sapropel:

Stop pussy footing around it. Are you coming to my Chinese giant salamander’s bar mitzvah or not

(via troutlawyer)

mostly-funnytwittertweets:

(via partywithslughorn)

differenceonlyyoucanmake:

tazmiilly:

I love watching dvds… bc the little commercials beforehand will be like “coming to you spring 2008!” like man. I can’t wait for 2008

Putting this here because it is an essential part of my Barbie movie watching experiences

(via partywithslughorn)

cassassinated:

I miss the days when, no matter how slow your internet was, if you paused any video and let it buffer long enough, you could watch it uninterrupted

(via partywithslughorn)

jame7t:

If you’re ever stuck when writing a story, break your main characters legs and then have a milf show up. She doesn’t have to help

(via troutlawyer)

louises-belcher:

I just love sleep so much ……. like u just close ur eyes and ur gone bitch ………… brain logged the fuck off ……… powerful

(via sirepotter)

bellemeblake:

onewordtest:

fandom is so weird you never know how old anyone is but you just kinda assume most of them are around your age until proven otherwise and then one day someone is talking about their 9 year old kid on your dash and another person is saying they just finished 10th grade. wild.  

reblog and tag with your age, so your mutuals know

(via ohdrxco)

pencilcomics:

What my week old spaghetti sees when I’m microwaving it at 4 am

letsmakeitwrite:

cliché but classic trope: when the person who almost died wakes up in a hospital bed, looks around and sees the object of their affection sleeping uncomfortably in the chair next to them because they haven’t moved in days.

(via iriswestsallen)

(via badnovels)

voltaiire:

“After a while, even the falling is gentle.”

— Catherynne M. Valente, The Labyrinth
(via monstress)

(via blushsea)